The Thinnest Wires
by cosmonautfield
Summary: A twelve-hour time difference. The Pacific Ocean, or maybe it's the Atlantic? Then there are all those continents in-between. They've never met but they've managed to stay together. And then, things fall apart. That's how long-distance works. It doesn't.
1. Chapter 1

"...So I handed the last box over because I'd never seen such an angry grandma before. I was scared she was going to kill me with a pineapple. She had five in her cart. Five."

Levi settled his chin into his palm and groaned as Erwin chuckled at his story. He reached up to shift his headset, moving the microphone further from his mouth, and brought his legs up onto his chair so he could tuck his head down onto his knees.

"All for oatmeal?"

"Yeah, I'm pissed. I wanted to make cookies. I have raisins too."

A smile stayed on Erwin's face. "Just make chocolate chip."

Levi grimaced. "Are you kidding?"

Erwin was laughing again because he knew better than that. He'd offered to send Levi chocolates a few times in the past but Levi reasoned it'd be too troublesome to do overseas. Months later, when Erwin did it anyway, Levi hesitantly confessed that he didn't like chocolate and preferred caramel. Erwin sent him packages of caramel treats whenever he could, which they both found funny since Levi could easily buy the candies at his downstairs grocery store. He preferred to wait for Erwin's special "exported import" packages though.

Levi watched as the man in the video screen suddenly looked and reached down to something under his table and he realized it was probably his dog, Sina.

"Hi, girl," he said and Erwin moved his camera from where he kept it on his computer so Levi could see Erwin's sleek hound. He waved at her and Erwin scratched the top of her head.

"She's been begging to go to the park all day. Weather is nice, might as well," Erwin said and moved the camera back to its original place.

"It rained all day today. I'm blaming you," Levi said, remembering the rainstorm Erwin had been complaining about yesterday. It seemed the clouds had finally reached him.

He glanced at the clock on his computer screen and let out a sigh. "I need to get going. Early day tomorrow."

Erwin's smile lessened. He waved.

"Good night," Levi said, returning the wave, then paused. "Good morning?"

Another chuckle, smooth in his ears. "Sleep well, Levi. Talk to you later."

"I'll be home early tomorrow but you probably won't be awake," Levi said and sat back in his seat, thinking about the time difference between them. At the moment, it was back to twelve hours.

"What time?" Erwin asked and whispered something at Sina.

"It'll be 3:00 A.M. for you. But I'll be up late anyway," Levi answered and began closing down all the windows and files still open on his computer.

"Okay. I'll be awake at the usual time."

"I'll just message you when I see you online."

"Sounds good. Sleep well, dear."

Levi felt a smile creeping up at the nickname and saw Erwin mirror the expression. He slipped his feet down to the floor, into his house slippers, and looked straight into the camera.

"Have a good day."

* * *

The box he received in the early morning was a little bigger than a shoebox and filled with a bag of Werther's Original, foam packing peanuts, a card, and a panda plush toy. Levi tore the bag of sweets open and popped a candy into his mouth while double-clicking the Skype icon on his desktop. When it loaded up, he checked his contacts and smiled at the lit-up, green checkmarked circle beside a picture of Sina. He pressed the call button and sat back, panda and card in hand. Erwin picked up after a few rings and Levi turned on the video function, holding the toy up in front of his camera.

"Oh, you got it. Finally," Erwin said. He was wearing a tank top and probably had pajama bottoms on. Maybe he'd never changed out of them since today was his day off.

"Customs probably thought you were trying to smuggle out the real thing," Levi said and stared at the expressionless face of the toy. "Airlines are dumb like that."

"Excuse me?"

Levi smirked and tossed another candy in his mouth. "Thank you for these. Duane Reades ran out actually."

"I thought you didn't buy them anymore." Erwin ran a hand through his hair and picked up a glass from his desk.

"What's it tonight?" Levi asked. "And it's been three months since you sent me anything. You really think I can hold out?"

"Just cold tea. And sorry. You know I've been busy at work. Summer season and all."

Levi shook his head with his lips curled up in a smile. He set the panda down beside his computer, next to the other stuffed toys from previous packages. "I just need the otter, right?"

"Yeah. You'd be done with your collection by now if you just let me buy them all at once," Erwin said, placing his now empty cup back on his desk. He leaned forward with elbow on desk and chin on hand and Levi could see the thin sheen of sweat on his skin. He wondered if Erwin planned on using the air conditioning at all this summer. He never really did, so sometimes he'd be bathed in sweat during their calls.

Levi eyed his stuffed desk companions and reached a hand out so his fingers could caress the soft fabric of each one. "You like Ocean Park though. Might as well get one every time you go."

Erwin agreed with him and Levi got up to get himself a drink before sitting back down, readjusting his headset. He talked about his previous day at work, about the new pottery that came in, and the intern that had broken the handle off of one of them while trying to brush the dirt out of all the cracks.

"Kid is an absolute idiot. That thing is hundreds of years old and he snaps it like a twig as soon as I hand it to him," Levi said, shaking his head. He swallowed down the rest of his juice. "I'm hungry."

Erwin had moved to sit on his bed with his back to the far wall, the camera now propped up on the edge of his desk. Sina had jumped up beside him and he was caressing her side.

"Go get lunch? Brunch?"

"More like breakfast. Then again." Levi opened up another Werther's and smirked while sliding it between his lips. Erwin sighed, as expected.

"Please eat real food."

"I will. When you go off to bed."

"Then I'll go now," Erwin said and moved forward toward the camera. Levi felt his heartbeat speed up.

"No, it's ok. I really will eat," he said quickly, hoping Erwin would back away. "Please, let's talk. We haven't in a long time."

The other man complied and settled back where he'd been sitting. Levi felt himself sink into his chair as well.

"By the way, I'll be out of town next week. All week," Erwin said.

"Where to?"

"San Fran."

"Again?"

Erwin shrugged and Sina got up to climb off the bed. Erwin yawned and Levi felt a little guilty for keeping him awake.

"That's what I said. Oh well. The crew is awesome so we'll probably go somewhere during downtime."

Levi hummed to himself and remembered the last time he'd looked up airline tickets to San Francisco. It wasn't anything he could possibly afford, and it would be too last minute anyway. He pushed the thought aside.

"Maybe you should go to bed," he said and cleared away the packing peanuts and candy bag from his desk.

"Yeah." Erwin turned his head, staring off somewhere for a few seconds, probably a clock. "Damn, it's later than I thought."

"Sorry. Go sleep."

Erwin nodded and they bid each other good night.

* * *

Levi,

Sorry about the other night. I'm really sorry. Someone called in for an emergency and I was the only one available and qualified to fly for international. Last minute, I know, I was pissed as hell. Still am. Then there were a bunch of delays because of a storm. I'm stuck in a hotel borrowing the computer. I couldn't pack my laptop.

I hope you received my letter and present. I sent the package out early this year. I know you don't like chocolate but everyone who says that ends up liking white chocolate, so I thought I'd give it a try. You can lie to me about it later.

I miss you. I'll be home by the 2nd so let's talk after. Or maybe you'll still be hungover from New Years? I'll sing you Happy Birthday and then do a remix with Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer. Maybe throw in Jingle Bells.

Happy Birthday, dear. I hope your holiday party went well.

I hope you're not mad. I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. I'll make it up to you.

Let me know when you're free to Skype.

I love you.

* * *

Erwin, I have to cancel our date. Family trip that weekend.

Dad's being crazy again since the weather has been nice.

Flowers everywhere. Spring shit. I know you're flying out the

weekend after, then there's my conference. Fuck.

Message me when you can?

* * *

"Camera still broken?"

"Yeah."

Levi left his towel around his neck to soak up the remaining droplets from his freshly washed hair. He inhaled the scent of his shampoo and clicked on his keyboard to turn up the volume.

"I swear Sina feels guilty. She keeps whimpering around me and I keep telling her it's okay."

"She's a dog, Erwin. She'll be fine," Levi said and rolled his eyes. He opened up his email and finished typing up the saved draft he'd started on the subway. "Why are you even up this late?"

He heard some sort of alarm on Erwin's side and guessed it must've been a video he was watching. Or perhaps the television.

"Jet lag. And other things."

Levi hummed in response and continued typing, pausing now and then to reread what he'd just written and editing his message so he sounded more professional and polite. He wouldn't have cared if it weren't for the recipient, even though the other man had been the one asking for a favor.

"Sorry, am I bothering you right now?" Erwin asked just as Levi clicked the 'send' button.

"No, no. Just finishing up an email to a professor. I was asked to do a presentation at NYU for the Fine Arts department."

"Ah."

Levi went through his inbox, deleting emails here and there and opening the ones that looked important. One from his university friend, another from his dad, something about a schedule shift for Tuesday, a thank you letter from a private college.

"I should go to bed. I'll talk to you later," Erwin said. "Good night."

"Night."

* * *

Levi breathed deep and double-clicked the Skype icon. He watched as the program logged him in and he immediately set himself to invisible. There were always other people online and he was not in the mood to be talking to any of them. He wasn't even sure he was in the mood to be talking to Erwin.

He stared at the picture of Sina, at the little green circle with the white checkmark, and after chewing on his lip for a few seconds he clicked the 'call phone' tab and waited, listening to the dial tone. He bit his lip hard, tore at a flap of skin that was loose from being dry all day, and he tasted blood after the sting of a peel.

_"How come you never fly out to New York?"_

_"I dunno. I've never been scheduled to do it."_

_"Can't you ask? Request it or something."_

_"You want to see me that badly?"_

_"...Fuck you."_

_"What?"_

_"Why would you say that?"_

_"Levi, I was kidding."_

_"No, fuck you."_

He hadn't spoken with Erwin almost an entire month after that. Not even an email had passed between them, except for the first one Levi had received an hour after he'd abruptly hung up. Erwin had apologized profusely in that email and at the time, Levi had been too upset to respond. He realized he probably should've as soon as he'd received the message, instead of being a moody child. He ended up working plenty of overtime due to a new exhibit opening up at the museum and Erwin had back-to-back weeks of flight time. When Levi realized he had yet to respond, it felt too late, too awkward, to even try.

A click. "Hey." Shuffling around, popping noises as Erwin adjusted his microphone. Levi left his own video feature off. He lay his head down on his desk and fought the ache in his chest.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry," he whispered into the microphone.

"Sweetheart..."

"I'm really...I got so caught up in a lot of things after but I know I should've responded. I didn't...I'm..."

Levi grit his teeth and tried to drive away the tightness that welled up in his chest. He pushed it down, gripped his armrests with both hands so he could dig his nails into something, and he tried to control his breathing so Erwin wouldn't hear. He hated when the man worried.

"Let me see you. I want to see you, Levi."

"I'm a wreck right now. I just got in from another night of overtime."

"I don't give a shit. Turn on your video."

Levi jumped at the surprising aggression in Erwin's usually relaxed voice and lifted his head slowly, clicking the video button. He wasn't visible though, since he'd lowered himself back down quickly to awkwardly rest his cheek on the desk. The headset kept him from lying down comfortably and he began to feel a crick in his neck.

"Let me see you."

"No."

"Baby, please? I missed you a lot. It's okay, I love you. Let's talk. Let me see you."

Levi breathed deeply for a few seconds. "Give me a second. Talk to me though."

Erwin did. He told Levi about his recent vacation to Taiwan, comparing it to Hong Kong, and he read off his schedule for the next month so they could properly plan out their next few dates. His voice was so steady, so sure, and in time, Levi felt confident about his control over his emotions so he sat up and looked at Erwin in the little video screen at the bottom left of his desktop.

The man looked exhausted, eyes dark and hair looking a bit flat. He had a button-up that was undone down to mid-chest, and a cigarette was sitting in his mouth. Levi hadn't even realized he'd been smoking.

"There you are," Erwin said and removed the cigarette from between his lips, putting it out and smiling like they'd just seen each other yesterday.

Levi inhaled shakily and felt the sting in his eyelids.

"You don't look bad at all," Erwin said and Levi reached up to brush his thumb over the man's cheek, cold and hard from the computer screen.

"I love you, Levi."

His nostrils flared as the tears slid hot and wet down his cheeks.

* * *

"What?"

Levi stared at the toys sitting next to his computer, an otter nestled between the dolphin and panda. He didn't even know why he bothered with video tonight. He couldn't bring himself to look at Erwin.

"Are you serious? Are you angry at me or are you-"

"I'm being serious. I thought about it. I've been thinking about it for months. I just...I can't. Erwin, I can't do this anymore."

"Levi, talk to me."

Levi reached out and grabbed the parrot plush toy, squeezing it hard as he spoke in a quivering voice that grew louder and louder with each syllable.

"I'm tired of talking! That's all we fucking do and I'm done. I'm fucking done. I shouldn't have spoken to you in the first place."

"Levi."

"That fucking website."

"Levi, please. Listen to me."

"I just...I want things that won't happen and it's hurting me."

"What?"

"I go to all my friends' weddings and everyone asks about my boyfriend and I only tell the closest people to me about you - that's about two people, by the way - because everyone else will think I'm crazy. Fuck, I am crazy. Nobody even cares I'm gay anymore. They just worry I've lost my mind."

"You aren't-"

"I'm dating a 37-year old man who lives in a time zone twelve-hours ahead of mine."

"Levi."

"I can't do this."

"Levi."

"We haven't even met."

"Do you love me?"

"Shut up about th-"

"Do you love me? Answer me. Were you lying to me for three fucking years? Almost four, damn it. Goddamn it, Levi!"

Levi breathed deep and fought back the memories that threatened to spill into his already enraged mind. He released his grip on the parrot and shoved all of the toys onto the floor, covering his face with his hands afterwards.

"I wasn't."

"Then you love me."

"Yeah, I fucking love you. Yes, I'm so crazy about you and I just want to fucking see you. I just want to feel your hand for once and know what one hundred and eighty-eight centimeters looks like next to me."

"Darling..."

"I want to say 'good night' and mean it because we'll actually be sleeping together for once."

Levi licked his dried lips and sniffed, hating the snot that had built up from his overreacting tear ducts. He wiped at his eyes and dug his palms into them afterward, hoping the burning in his hands would dry them out.

"Don't end this, Levi. Please, we can work it out."

"Four years later."

"Levi."

"I fucking love you, Erwin. And I'm an idiot."

* * *

_One more time, Levi. Please._

Neither of them were children, hadn't been children in decades, so Levi knew he had no reason to continue being moody and selfish. That reasoning alone hadn't been enough of a push for him to open up Skype on a chilly Autumn night though, when he had a presentation to figure out and sleep to catch up on. Somehow, he still ended up wrapping a blanket around his shoulders, more for comfort than warmth, and seated himself in front of his computer, camera and headset plugged in, breath steady as he started up the program.

One more time, he told himself. Just once.

He ignored the missed messages he'd received from a friend he'd been chatting with the other night. He didn't bother switching his status. He only stared at the picture of a dog he'd grown to love that belonged to a man who was giving him the worst heartache he'd ever felt in all his thirty-one years of life. His cursor hovered over the photo, eyes never leaving what looked like a smile on Sina's face, and he jumped in his chair when the call came in. He answered it immediately, wondering whether or not he should've waited a bit to gather his thoughts. He really didn't have to though. Erwin's short email had been on his mind for days now.

"Hey," he greeted and turned down the volume on his headset.

"Video?"

Levi bit his lip and stared at Erwin's face. Determination. Pleading.

He gave in.

One last time.

He looked up into Erwin's eyes and noticed the shadows in his room. The man only had his lamp turned on and considering the time, it was probably dark outside even though he lived in a rather brightly lit part of the city.

"I'm really sorry. For everything," Erwin said softly, after they'd taken a few silent minutes to just stare at each other. "I love you, you know I do. And I should've tried harder."

An exhale. Levi exhaled as well and said, "I should've done more." His voice was barely above a whisper. Erwin asked him to repeat and he did.

Silence fell upon them once more and after a few minutes Levi reached up to touch the screen, fingers brushing over Erwin's cheek. He saw the older man move his arm in a similar fashion and shut his eyes, which Levi did as well while pressing his fingertips into the monitor.

"Gods, I just want to touch you," he murmured in a low voice and swallowed the lump that rose from deep in the pit of his stomach. "I don't want to end this."

Erwin let out a shaky sigh. "Of course not. I don't either. I've never felt like this for anyone, Levi. Even people I've met."

A wry smile appeared on Levi's face and he opened up his eyes. "How did we even get like this?" he asked and leaned closer to his computer to ease the numbing sensation in his raised arm.

"'You're the guy who checks baggage at the airport?'"

A chuckle from both of them. "'Oh, are you an artist?'"

"'Sometimes I fly the baggage around, too.'"

"'Fuck you.'"

Levi inhaled slowly and deeply, then finally let his arm drop down onto the desk. He cupped his chin in his hand like usual and his eyes slid shut halfway. The conversation was one that played itself over and over in his mind, saved in a random folder on his desktop amongst the other chat talks that he couldn't bear to delete. The thought of that folder led to a sinking feeling in his stomach, where the lump he'd forced down in a swallow had risen out of.

"Hey. I have a question."

"Hm?"

Levi watched as Erwin's eyes shifted from the camera to something on his screen. There was a soft sound of clicking, followed by typing, and he waited patiently to see what Erwin was up to. The man's face glowed softly from the light of his computer, and Levi leaned forward so he could have a better close-up.

"Is it JFK or LaGuardia? La Gorda? La Garden? The international one."

"What?" Levi tilted his head to the side at the question because Erwin of all people should've known the answer. Then again, the guy had never flown past the Mississippi his entire life. "JFK," he said and watched as Erwin leaned back in his seat and pulled open a drawer from his desk. He rummaged around, pulling files and papers free and setting them out beside his keyboard. Levi couldn't really see what any of them actually were due to the camera angle, and he tried not to get too curious.

"Ah. Shit." The mumbled curse had him blinking and he tilted his head to the other side, regarding Erwin carefully.

"You're close to LaGuardia though, yeah?"

Those blue eyes glanced up, not quite at him, and Levi tried to read what was on Erwin's mind while fighting back an odd tightening sensation in his chest.

What if-

"Yeah. JFK isn't that far though, I guess."

Erwin was silent for a moment as he stared down at a single sheet of paper in his hands. Levi continued to stare at him, eyes narrowing and head swirling from all the thoughts he was having. He beat them down, not wishing for anymore empty hope to enter his weary mind. He waited for the chance to return to the previous topic, the main topic, so he and Erwin could have proper closure between them. Levi wasn't that sure if such a thing would be possible at this point. The mood was already so different.

"Great. Then, please free up the last Wednesday of this month," Erwin said and when Levi raised a brow and felt the rush of annoyance at being kept in the dark about his plans, a simple smile stretched out Erwin's mouth.

Levi waited and waited for an explanation. He received none. Then Erwin, with an unsteady yet determined look on his face, held the paper he was holding up to his camera and Levi gave the screen a second to focus, hating that there was a slight lag.

The initials "JFK" jumped out at him from where they sat on what looked to be a flight itinerary, or maybe even an actual boarding pass, and Levi blinked rapidly, caught in a stupor as he read over the information about a flight between Hong Kong and New York City with one transfer at San Francisco. His eyes caught the arrival and departure dates and times of each transfer and the final trip itself, as well as the amount of time it would take to complete the whole flight. The airline Erwin flew for would be used. It was a one-way ticket.

After a beat, Levi finally remembered to breathe and his heart soared at the possibilities that made the ache in his chest increase a thousand fold.

"One more time, Levi. Give us one last chance."

Levi felt his heartrate quicken, his breaths grow sharp and ragged, and his eyes hurt right at the edge of the lids. They stung and grew wet and he didn't bother biting down on his lip or molars this time. Instead, he simply let his face grow hot and his hands sweaty as he silently cursed Erwin for being the lovesick romantic he'd fallen for years ago, before he'd even seen a video or an emailed photo.

"I'll stay for as long as you want," Erwin continued and moved the strip of paper away to tenderly set it back into his drawer. He looked up at the camera and the intensity of his gaze made it seem like he was right there with Levi, ready to crawl into bed after a whispered "good night," their hands locked together as they lay side-by-side.

Physically touching, breathing the same air, seeing the sun in the sky at the same time.

Levi continued to list off in his head as he tucked the blanket beneath his legs, slipped his feet into their warm slippers, and looked straight into Erwin's eyes.


	2. Chapter 2

The last Wednesday of the month started chilly and remained that way even through noontime. The sky was filled with clouds that looked ready to be plucked down to reveal the blue peeking between the puffs. The skyscrapers were a manmade wind tunnel for the cool, never-ending breeze that followed Levi's taxi from one borough to the next until he reached the airport. He stepped into arrivals, walked toward customs, and stood there with his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the doorway. He shifted his weight from one foot to the next, chewed on his bottom lip, checked his phone for the time, and sighed a few hundred times.

The announcements came and went and he didn't hear a single one of them, didn't hear anything. Touch down time neared and passed and his heart leapt from his chest to his stomach to his ears, a strong, unsteady beat that managed to dry his throat and wet his hands. But still he couldn't hear it, just felt it. Then the trickle of people came and even the sense of it was gone.

One-by-one the nameless strangers passed by him, some running to others who had been waiting with him, some greeting those with special signs, some going right to where the taxis and buses would pick them up and shuttle them off to whatever was next in their life.

Levi hadn't even wondered what was next in his life, not since that night he'd been asked to show up here. Not since the morning he'd requested for time off for the first time since he started working at the museum. His mind was cluttered and his hands wouldn't stop sweating so he wiped them on his pants and shifted his legs, feeling the slight creak in his knees from standing the same way for too long.

He was glancing down for a second and then looking up at a face he recognized from nights, mornings, and afternoons both chilly and not chilly, sometimes hot and sometimes freezing. His heart returned, a lump that slid down his throat and settled with a burn in his stomach, and suddenly everything in him dried up.

"There you are."

Levi exhaled and felt a tremor that started in his chest and ended in his longest fingernail. He tilted his head back, up, and a little away.

"One hundred and eighty-eight," he whispered as his eyes traveled from ankle to thick, bushy brows.

Erwin chuckled and released his suitcase handle, hesitantly reaching out, and his long, warm fingers hooked gently when Levi's met his.

* * *

It was a hush in the taxi after Levi gave his address to the driver, a different one and more than middle-aged. He sat at one door, Erwin at the other, and he set his hands in his lap and stared out the window, glad his heart had settled back into place. The city looked nice with the slight overcast and mostly sunny weather. Leaves and litter, coats and trees all swayed with the wind. People walked their dogs, walked with each other, and walked their baby carriages. Some people were jogging, some came out of apartments or stores or subway stairwells. It was a busy day, a typical Wednesday, and he thought about work and wondered if everything would be fine. The new exhibit was opening today and he wouldn't be there to see it. But he'd get to see his hard work tomorrow, or the day after. Whenever it was Erwin wanted to go. He said he liked museums after all.

There was a tap to his arm and he glanced over at Erwin. The man smiled at him, fingers lightly resting in the crook of his elbow, and Levi smiled back while moving his hand away from his lap and settling it in the empty seat between them. Erwin's hand rested atop his and Levi shut his eyes to the warmth that settled there on his skin. It didn't leave until he was getting his wallet from his pocket so he could pay the driver before they stepped out, took Erwin's luggage from the trunk, and made their way into his apartment complex. It returned when they walked through the front door, stood side-by-side in the elevator, at his front door, and then finally in the entrance way.

* * *

Levi slid his shoes off, tucked his socks into them, and took hold of Erwin's suitcase. He wheeled it toward his bedroom and left it at the foot of his bed before taking off his coat and hanging it back up in his closet. Afterwards, he turned to Erwin and held his hand out. When Erwin removed his own coat – Levi had told him to wear a light one – he slipped it onto a hanger and tucked it in right next to the one he'd been wearing. He stared at the thin black material that looked like it belonged and then he turned around to face the other man again.

"Are you hungry? Thirsty?" he asked and Erwin stepped forward, took his hand again, and Levi fell silent.

He stared up into the other's eyes, having to crane his neck back as Erwin kept moving forward until his shoulder blades were pressing into coats and sweaters and the bend of the hangers they hung off of. He felt the squeeze to his hand, squeezed back, and exhaled so slowly he could barely feel his own breath across his lips.

But then he felt Erwin's.

Warm, soft, wet with the brush of his tongue, and Levi quickly looked down at the hand in his, at the fingers melding with his own, and then Erwin's other hand was under his chin, lifting his head up so he could gaze into eyes that were warm, soft, and wet.

Levi's mouth had fallen open so he closed it, wanting to swallow, and he tried but couldn't because there wasn't a need even though his throat had dried up again. He squeezed the hand in his and with his free one he reached up to touch the fingers at his cheek. Then his palm slid down the back of Erwin's hand, along an unseen vein beneath his sleeve that ran from wrist to elbow to shoulder, perhaps to his neck, to his cheek, until Levi's thumb was pressing softly beneath one eye. His nail caught the first tear that fell, not his, but he had some of his own and he let those fall because that was a need.

He sighed, exhaled, then he breathed and his fingers were sliding against the face that nuzzled so tenderly against his skin. He didn't know if his hand was sweaty this time, but he did know the soft feel of Erwin's hair between his fingertips, the fuzz of the shaved parts right around his ear, the heat of his ear itself, and he shut his eyes as his fingers trailed further, catching the back of Erwin's head, pressing against his bared neck.

He didn't open his eyes again, not when Erwin released his hand to cup his face and run his thumbs hard over the streaks on his cheeks while breathing hard enough for Levi to feel the tingle against his skin. His eyes remained shut when those large hands cupped more at his jaw, curled around his ears, and held his own strands of hair between shaking fingertips, and he remained sightless when Erwin's breaths became Erwin's lips against his forehead. Erwin's lips against his brow, against each eyelid, once more Erwin's breath against his.

He shook at the warmth, the softness, and the wetness. He grasped at short and shorter hair, at shirt collar and neck, at shoulder and shirt, and his ankles trembled as he pushed himself up onto the tips of his toes and opened his mouth in a silent plea to help his parched throat. He drank then, Erwin's hands a growing bruise of a fire, Erwin's mouth a growing bruise of heat, and when Levi released his first whimper, Erwin's lips became a soothing press that also took a drink.

Levi tilted his head so that their mouths were freed, and he licked his lips, licked Erwin's because they were still so close. His eyes remained shut but his cheeks were damp and damper and he swore he felt the flutter of lashes against the rivulets. He settled down properly onto his feet and Erwin bent with the tug of his hands and then they were kissing. It was neither first nor last, neither good nor bad, but he'd remember it in the future as his first, good kiss with Erwin Smith, four years after he'd learned of that name.

He breathed two of those three syllables back into the mouth he'd first heard them from and when Erwin slid a hand down his neck, following an unseen vein hidden beneath Levi's goose-bumped skin that led from shoulder to shoulder blade to waist, he inhaled the exchanged two syllables of his own name and finally opened his eyes.


End file.
